Speechifying – just a few words…
A Few Words…
A Few Words…
Nervous? Whether you’re the father of the bride, the bridegroom, or the best man, the speech you make is a performance. Standing up in front of assembled friends and family to say a few words can be a daunting task. No need. With a little careful preparation, some sensible rehearsal and a dose of self-confidence, that dreaded spot of public speaking can turn into a truly memorable moment. Now – repeat after me – ‘…unaccustomed as I am…’
There are three generally accepted speeches usual to a wedding reception – the father of the bride makes a toast to the bride and groom, the bridegroom toasts the bridesmaids, his parents, and thanks all those present for their gifts, then the best man thanks the bridegroom for his kind words on behalf of the bridesmaids. A toast to absent friends, by the bridegroom or father of the bride, is also appreciated, especially if any relatives have passed away. It will mean a great deal to members of your family.
Now – down to the deed itself. Firstly, try to compare notes if at all possible. A quiet drink with groom, best man and the bride’s father would be a good move. By co-ordinating the three of you, repetition can easily be avoided. The father of the bride might recall a story which the bridegroom planned to use, and the best man might want to tell a story which the bridegroom had up his sleeve. Don’t go too far and spoil any surprises that the best man might have, but to avoid last minute adjustments while listening to the other speeches, this piece of forward planning won’t go amiss.
Less is more. Brevity is a quality sadly lacking from so many speeches. Your audience have sat through the sermon, posed for the photographer – now it’s time to unwind. Say what needs to be said – sprinkle your anecdotes liberally, but a well-focused strong performance will make its mark. Best Man; learn the difference between humour and bad taste! Innuendo and risqué references should have been left behind at the stag night. Any reference to former girlfriends should be abandoned.
Vocalise. Do not rely on the written word or the voice in your head. Make your notes and read those words out loud. To yourself, to the mirror or to someone who doesn’t mind hearing it a couple of times. Someone who will tell you what you’re doing right and wrong. Video yourself practising the speech and then make any adjustments after you’ve seen yourself. This is a great way to smooth out any habits you might have that you’re unaware of – scratching your ear, stroking your chin or worse! Imagine your audience is there, so that when the day comes, you’ve got some sense of addressing a crowd. Whatever you plump for – rehearse it. Then rehearse it again until you know it backwards. That’ll do it!
Stand up straight, and look confident. Even if you are reading from notes, look up and at your audience from time to time. Eye contact makes them feel you are talking to them.
Keep that delivery slow – one temptation is to race through to the finishing line. Gabble and all those well-written witty asides will be lost on the way. Nothing ruins a good speech more than a nervous speaker going too fast. Project your voice and enunciate your words. If at all possible, visit the room where the speeches will be made so that you’re familiar with it. Run through the speech, or read a menu – anything that gives you an idea how your voice will carry. Make sure each word is pronounced correctly, and pitch your voice loud enough to be heard by all in the room, especially any guests who might be hard of hearing.
Before beginning, wait for silence. Breathe evenly, start slowly and confidently and you’ll have their attention. If you expect a laugh – wait for it. If it doesn’t come, tell them they were supposed to laugh and wait until they do. Ice instantly broken. Don’t begin again until the laughter has died down – savour it – this is YOUR moment. Watch a few stand up comics. You’ll learn a lot.
Be prepared for hecklers – enjoy their interruptions, especially the funny ones. Once again wait until the laughter dies down and continue strongly. People will remember that your speech got the laughs – even if the lines were not always yours.
Don’t drink too much before delivering your speech. You might think it helps, but no one else will. Still nervous? Well don’t be. The audience will be rooting for you. They really want to you to succeed, and even if you don’t think your material is that funny, you can be assured that they will still laugh at even the weakest of jokes. And if you get a laugh you weren’t expecting – check your flies!
This article is featured in The BrideGuide by David & Sandra Ireland an innovative new e-Book. The BrideGuide is the perfect gift for any aspiring couple.Find out more on our websites:
www.sandra-ireland.com www.writersworldwideweb.com
